I received the suggestion last week to show the original blurb alongside the changes. So, here goes. For my short story THE TAKING OF RHINOCEROS 456. 

Cover design by Molly Humphrey. Photo by Roxanne Rix

ORIGINAL:

Something mysterious goes on after hours at the San Antonio Daedalus Memorial Zoo. Myths live here. Mother Earth, for one. When the rhinos vanish, Steve the bum finds a talking dog. Maybe. Oddball whimsy combined with a puzzle: THE TAKING OF RHINOCEROS 456.

This is a short story.

FIRST REVISION:

A homeless man named Steve lives in the zoo in the empty cage next to the abominable snowman. There stupid zoo visitors hound him for photographs, mistaking him for the chimera.

Steve is much more dangerous than that.

Southern Gothic shot through with whimsy. Imagination let loose. THE TAKING OF RHINOCEROS 456.

SECOND AND MAYBE FINAL REVISION: 

Arguably the most vicious exhibit contained at this zoo—

Steve, the homeless man living in the empty cage next to the abominable snowman.

Things aren’t quite what they seem at the San Antonio Daedalus Memorial Zoo. Southern Gothic meets Texas Whimsy in this highly imaginative short story.

Contains The Taking of Rhinoceros 456

WHAT I READ THIS WEEK:  The River of Corn by John Rose Putnam. Go Set A Watchman by Harper Lee.

Here is the link to the story http://amzn.com/B006P10KGM and here is a link to the collection  http://amzn.com/B00HQ0PH1O. Those of you subscribed to KU can read them for free.

Over the next few months I’m going to redo all my product descriptions, commonly known as blurbs.

I started with the short story TRUEPENNY. Here’s what the new one looks like:

The braver the mouse, the better the supper. Not every house cat’s slogan, but Paw Paw likes them feisty. Cats eat mice, you know; even in stories.

As Paw Paw relates the latest Truepenny legend to his attentive mouse audience, he thinks of nothing but the food sitting so vulnerable in front of his eyes.

Until he remembers the real Truepenny, and what actually happened.

TRUEPENNY is available as a single story, or as part of the collection TWISTED RIXTER

(Believe me, it’s a lot better than what I had.)

And here’s the one I’m working on for THE TAKING OF RHINOCEROS 456 (I’m not finished).

A homeless man named Steve lives in the zoo in the empty cage next to the abominable snowman where stupid zoo visitors hound him for photographs, mistaking him for the chimera.

Steve is much more dangerous than that.

Southern Gothic shot through with whimsy. Imagination let loose. THE TAKING OF RHINOCEROS 456.

Cover design by Molly Humphrey. Photo by Roxanne Rix

Comments appreciated.

WHAT I READ THESE PAST WEEKS:  The Kingdom of the Sun and the Moon by Lowell H. Press.  Smoke-Filled Rooms by Kris Nelscott. Falling Down the Aether Sky by Sekji Ani. Never Trust A Dead Man by Vivian Vande Velde.

You can find my books and stories at http://amazon.com/author/gretchenrix

And most of the books at http://barnesandnoble.com/c/gretchen-rix and http://smashwords.com/books/view/494824.

Paperbacks are available in Lockhart, Texas, at Buffalo Clover on the square and at Logos off the square near Blacks BBQ. And in Austin at Bookpeople http://www.bookpeople.com/search/apachesolr_search/the%20safari%20bride  and in Round Rock at The Book Spot http://www.juliesbookspot.com

(Truth of it is, though, any bookstore can order the paperbacks for you).

WHAT I READ THIS WEEK:  Dune by Frank Herbert.  Finders Keepers by Stephen King.

Photos by Roxanne Rix

Books and stories by Gretchen Rix available at Bookpeople in Austin, Texas, The Book Spot in Round Rock, Texas, Logos in Lockhart, Texas, and Buffalo Clover in Lockhart, Texas. Also at http://amazon.com/author/gretchenrix