I received the suggestion last week to show the original blurb alongside the changes. So, here goes. For my short story THE TAKING OF RHINOCEROS 456. 

Cover design by Molly Humphrey. Photo by Roxanne Rix

ORIGINAL:

Something mysterious goes on after hours at the San Antonio Daedalus Memorial Zoo. Myths live here. Mother Earth, for one. When the rhinos vanish, Steve the bum finds a talking dog. Maybe. Oddball whimsy combined with a puzzle: THE TAKING OF RHINOCEROS 456.

This is a short story.

FIRST REVISION:

A homeless man named Steve lives in the zoo in the empty cage next to the abominable snowman. There stupid zoo visitors hound him for photographs, mistaking him for the chimera.

Steve is much more dangerous than that.

Southern Gothic shot through with whimsy. Imagination let loose. THE TAKING OF RHINOCEROS 456.

SECOND AND MAYBE FINAL REVISION: 

Arguably the most vicious exhibit contained at this zoo—

Steve, the homeless man living in the empty cage next to the abominable snowman.

Things aren’t quite what they seem at the San Antonio Daedalus Memorial Zoo. Southern Gothic meets Texas Whimsy in this highly imaginative short story.

Contains The Taking of Rhinoceros 456

WHAT I READ THIS WEEK:  The River of Corn by John Rose Putnam. Go Set A Watchman by Harper Lee.

Here is the link to the story http://amzn.com/B006P10KGM and here is a link to the collection  http://amzn.com/B00HQ0PH1O. Those of you subscribed to KU can read them for free.