FYI: I started this blog in November after being inspired by what The Passive Guy was doing with some of his spam, e.g, making the verbal equivalent of fried spam sandwiches. I used to get major spam just as outrageous as his, but now that I wanted it, my spam had trickled down to just the boring stuff (thank you Askimet).  So I’ve been using the last few months saving it up. Now I’ve got some worth sharing.    

I get a lot of spam on this site and most of of it is blocked (thank god!). But every day I glance at what gets through for my approval. Like the The Passive Voice site, I sometimes get some real corkers. I think I’ll let you see them.  (But for the real good stuff, go to http://thepassivevoice.com).   

Here’s a good one.      

I’d have to consult you right here. That isn’t a thing I usually carry out! My partner and i get pleasure from researching any offered that may make individuals think. Also, appreciate your allowing me personally to be able to opinion!    

And this    

Thanks friend. This has already been unique seeing     

And this    

obviously previously mentioned soil private pools are easier to sustain and clean~    

This one’s intriguing    

fortuitous, why didn’t a person?? my partner and i thought adam shouldve been recently removed a prolonged period in the past! and that i don’t mean for that cause involving his taste men, however i suggest, i dislike exactly how they screams    

And I get this one all the time    

Yesterday, while I was at work, my sister stole my iphone and tested to see if it can survive a forty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone! Also, please visit my page    

Most are like this    

design is incredible! You obviously know how to keep a reader entertained. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!)    

This one’s good    

Presently what did you say? I considered necessary! Maybe to facilitate bidding transpire my inspiration on behalf of the week, keep it emergence!    

Just about the best I’ve received in a while    

I wanted to create you that bit of observation just to thank you very much once again for your lovely views you have shown at this time. It’s quite particularly open-handed with people like you to offer extensively exactly what a few people might have distributed for an e book in order to make some profit for their own end, even more so considering the fact that you could have done it if you decided. Those good tips as well served as the easy way to be aware that other people online have the same keenness the same as my personal own to figure out great deal more with respect to this matter. I’m sure there are lots of more enjoyable periods up front for many who looked at your site.    

And my personal favorite      

WHAT I’VE READ THIS WEEK—The Murder of My Aunt by Richard Hull.  11/22/63 by Stephen King.

https://www.amazon.com/author/gretchenrix

Friday it rained. Central Texas is in a deep drought situation, so rain was great, except that it almost sidelined the local festival I was selling my books at. Didn’t sell a book all evening, and missed the parade as well.

Saturday it rained. The ground under the covered tent where I was selling books was running with water, some even dripped down the side of the tent onto items vendors had left there overnight. I ended up sitting on a chair with my long dress hem unknowingly on the ground soaking it up. Had to wring it dry every hour. Damned glad I wasn’t wearing my expensive Victorian costume like I was supposed to. Wanted to be more comfortable.

Sales were almost nonexistent. Got my first real experience of people going by, and going by, and going by like I’ve heard they often ignore the authors at book-signings in Barnes & Noble, etc.  But Konrath is right. This was more than about selling my books. This was about letting people see the writer over there, getting to know my face, and me learning to pipe up and talk to them. This was about showing off my book, buying the book my neighbor was selling right across from us, and just being nice to people, being part of the community.

And being bypassed  wasn’t even all that bad, because it wasn’t just me selling stuff, it was the whole tent. And I wasn’t the only one being bypassed. And the people weren’t rude;  they made eye contact and smiled if I was looking at them, sometimes they picked up the books and looked before putting them down and going on. Just the wrong product at the wrong time with the wrong price. I say that because Jeff across the aisle had the right book for the right market. I think he sold quite a lot. Unfortunately, I don’t write what he does.

I missed everything about the festival by being in that booth except the people-watching. A good-looking guy went by with a dog as big as a bear that looked like a bear. Everyone stopped them to exclaim. The dog toy/supply people brought their Saint Bernard to show off. The good-looking chiropractor across the aisle came over to say hi, as did Jeff who did so well with his books. We saw friends and neighbors and lots of strangers. Missed the harpist, the petting zoo, all the choirs, Father Christmas (actually, I saw Father Christmas when I was at the library for my stint at the book-selling event there.) Missed the face painting, didn’t miss the food booths (we got a good taste of  many of the dishes offered and tortilla soup was the best).

After a day and a half in rainy weather, sold three copies of The Cowboy’s Baby and five copies of the books other writers had given us to sell for them. Had hoped to sell ten and would have been happier with five. Not sorry we went, but probably won’t try my books at this particular festival again. Wrong book for the wrong festival. Don’t think my new one Arroyo would fare any better.

Learned a lot. Actually had fun. Didn’t let it get me down. And three copies is three copies.

Link for Gretchen Rix https://www.amazon.com/author/gretchenrix

Link for Jeanne Murray  http://learnanddiscoverhowto.com

Link for Marvin S. Mayer http://kidsbooksbymarvin.com

For a science fiction novel, Guns of Seneca 6 sure makes a damned good western. Strong writing, vivid action and characters both familiar and memorable are what  you get here;  plus it’s set on a planet other than Earth.

If you like westerns, you’re going to love it. If you like a good story, you’re going to love it. But if you read science fiction for the unexpectedness of the strange settings and people, then you won’t. Me, I’d go for the good story every time. The hell with the rest.

The story is set around the trials and tribulations of a trio of lawmen policing a hardscrabble little town that’s surrounded by a protective fence. One night the natives get in. People die and retribution begins. There are really, really bad guys, brave and remarkable good guys, aliens (to us) much like the American Indians we are used to seeing in the movies, and one exceptionally nasty bug-eyed monster (BEM) in this story.

Highly recommended. Bernard Schaffer can tell a tale.

WHAT I READ THIS WEEK—Guns of Seneca 6 by Bernard Schaffer.

Link to Guns of Seneca 6  http://amzn.com/B005Z7L4EO

Here’s a new romantic suspense novel to while away your weekend without regret: STONE COLD JUSTICE by Deb Sanders. It’s paced to be a very quick read, which is another way of saying you can’t put it down.

Maggie McGregor returns to her childhood ranch when her parents die only to find herself getting shot at the minute she gets there. Handsome, sexy cowboy Nick Stone saves her, but then she kicks him in the balls for his efforts. Sexual sparks fly, of course, but there are enough different suspense threads running through STONE COLD JUSTICE to keep you riveted to the story.

Available at Amazon.com and Smashwords.

WHAT I READ THIS WEEK—Stone Cold Justice by Deb Sanders,  Stirredby J.A. Konrath and Blake Crouch.

http://amzn.com/B00679V1EM   and  http://smashwords.com/books/view/106696

Stirred can be found at http://amzn.com/B0050KIRDC

And my latest novel Arroyo is at http://amzn.com/B0067NCEJ4 and http://barnesandnoble.com/c/gretchen-rix  and at http://smashwords.com/books/view/105559.

I was going to start this review with a clever segue using the title STIRRED, but what the hell. Let’s cut right to the chase. Did I enjoy STIRRED by J.A. Konrath and Blake Crouch?

Yep.

Would I ever read it again?

You bet.

By the time I got near the end of these two thriller writers’ collaborative police procedural-cum-serial -killer event, I almost loved this book. It’s a very fast-paced, waay over-the-top twisted (and often laugh-out-loud-funny) addition to your reading list. Outrageous, ugly, and at times hilarious, what other book has an eight-and-a-half-month pregnant heroine climbing to the top of a water tower on one of those rickety outside ladders? Not one, I’m sure.

Ex-ubercop Jack Daniels is very pregnant, and having a hard time of it, when she’s targeted by evil incarnate (aka Luther Kite) and forced to fight for her very survival. Luther wants Jack as he’s never wanted another victim. He’s sure that if he can break her, he’ll have the partner in vicious killing he’s only now realizing he can’t live without. He’ll use her friends and even her unborn daughter as his weapons, and if you can’t stomach outrageously ugly and inventive murder scenes, this isn’t the book for you.

The nine levels of hell await Jack and her team in STIRRED, a collaboration between two bestselling thriller writers who one-up each other right into the shocking twisted ending. Both series (The Jack Daniels series from Konrath and the Andrew Z. Thomas series from Crouch) come to an end with STIRRED, at least for a while.

Again. Did I enjoy this sometimes gut-wrenchingly-detailed torture and murder tale? Yes. So say goodbye to Jack Daniels, probably the only pregnant character you’ll ever know who charged into the depths of Dante’s Inferno to make the world a safer place for the rest of us.

http://amzn.com/J.-A.-Konrath/e/B000BCH4EM

VERY SHORT Q&A From STIRRED authors Blake Crouch and J.A. Konrath

J.A. Konrath and Blake Crouch are participating in a spate of promotional Q&A sessions of five-questions-only for their new thriller STIRRED, and here are mine. I tried to think of something they aren’t asked each and every time and also something I’d be interested in knowing.

QUESTION:  As collaborators, what happens when you stubbornly disagree over your story or characters? (They wrote STIRRED together as the final book to two on-going mystery/thriller series–the Jack Daniels series for Konrath and the Andrew Z. Thomas/Luther Kite series for Crouch.)

ANSWER:  This will sound strange (Crouch), but I don’t think we’ve had any major disagreements over story or character (probably why our collaborations have been so much fun and why we continue to do them). This isn’t to say we agree on everything, but there’s a level of trust where if either of us wants to do something the other one isn’t keen on, we talk it out and trust that they know where they’re going.

QUESTION:  Do you allow family or friends to influence your work (make suggestions you take seriously, change something because they don’t like it, etc?)

ANSWER:  Yes, we have family and friends who are successful writers whose feedback we value greatly (Crouch).

QUESTION:  Describe a normal day for yourselves. How much time do you put into your writing.

ANSWER:  There is no normal day. Some of STIRRED we wrote separately. Most of it we wrote together in long, intense bursts in a Google doc. On the day we finished the book, we put up 9,000 words (Crouch). 

QUESTION:  Do you have a special story you would like to write that is out of the thriller genre or in other ways much different from what we are used to from you? And will you write it?

ANSWER:  I think most of the projects I want to write happen to fall in the thriller genre (Crouch). There is no romance or sci-fi or big literary project I’m dying to do. I pretty much write exactly what I want to write. That’s one of the great things about ebooks. The freedom they give you.

ANSWER:  No (Konrath).

QUESTION:  What is your favorite book, movie, television series?

ANSWER: Blood Meridian (book), Unforgiven (movie), Twin Peaks (television series) —Blake Crouch.

Note: I didn’t recognize the title of the book so I looked it up. Author Cormac McCarthy.

ANSWER:  The Judas Goat (book), Black Dynamite (movie), Good Eats (television)–J.A. Konrath.

Note: This time I didn’t recognize the title of the book or the movie. Book author Robert B. Parker. Black Dynamite is an action movie from 2009 starring Michael Jai White.

STIRRED ends the series for both authors and is exclusive as an ebook to Amazon.com and the Kindle. It goes live November 22.  http://amzn.com/J.-A.-Konrath/e/B000BCH4EM    ought to get you to J.A. Konrath’s Amazon.com pages. His blog (a must for all writers) is at http://jakonrath.blogspot.com   Look for Blake Crouch’s books at http://amazon.com/Blake-Crouch/e/B001H6U8X0 . Blake Crouch’s website is http://blakecrouch.com.

From Arroyo, a paranormal western by the author of  The Cowboy’s Baby—-

As Daniel watched, Ramona crept closer to her former burden, telling herself she only wanted to see if the chains were broken and unusable. She didn’t want to admit that it was talking to her again. “Nieta,” it hissed. The snake head moved its dead jaws with the greeting. “Me muero de hambre. Hungry,” it said. She stood hypnotized.

“There is is!” Narendra galloped right up beside her, breathing heavily from his run. He broke the spell. Ramona quickly reared back in horror. It had nearly taken her again, she realized. The Rajput used his sword and ran it gingerly through the reptile’s mouth to get it off the wooden Indian statue, all the while gently nudging Ramona aside. Immediately the snake head clamped its fangs onto the steel; just as abruptly the Rajput screamed, swung the sword high through the air, and tossed the head far ahead of them on the arroyo floor.

–A buxom Mexican witch doomed to a disastrous ending drags two strange companions across Texas with her in Arroyo, a paranormal western and pulp action adventure story for a modern audience. As her traveling companion Sinjin McIntosh Narendra (the Rajput) alternately plunges and bumbles his way towards his ultimate fate, and Daniel either thwarts or abets their every plan—

See Ramona resist the kiss of the vampire. Will she fall under the sway of an even more challenging love?

Watch as Ramona subverts the hand of God to her will. Can the Rajput discover his shocking true identity? Will Daniel find his redemption in fire?

Follow Ramona, the Rajput and Daniel as they leave Texas history in shambles pursuing their own destinies. Watch amazed at what they leave behind.

 A  pulp adventure western novel with touches of the horror genre, Arroyo is a roller coaser ride through 1893 Texas that will keep your eyes glued to the page until The End.

Copyright 2011 by Gretchen Rix. 

Available at Smashwords for all e-book apps http://smashwords.com/books/view/105559

Available at Barnes & Noble Nook  http://barnesandnoble.com/c/gretchen-rix

Available at Amazon.com Kindle http://amzn.com/B0067NCEJ4. 

What I read this week:  Double Negative by David Carkeet.

STEPHEN KING. Dallas, Texas, this past Thursday evening. A bucket list event. A four-hour drive from here. Lady sitting by me drove from Wichita, Kansas. A Conversation With Stephen King. Majestic Theater . Signed copies of 11/22/63. Neiman-Marcus a couple of blocks away. Standing in line outside. Cool weather, not quite cold. Excited fans. Young faces (meaning twentyish). Many middle-aged faces. Signed copies of a Stephen King book! Two signed copies of a Stephen King book!

Steve relaxed and comfortable. Looking healthy, happy. Steve pleased to be with us. Jokes about leaving our cars unlocked and getting an unwanted knife-wielding-type passenger inside. Talked about his accident. Made the world’s smallest violin finger gestures to indicate lack of sympathy he expects now. Long Michael Jackson anecdote. Laughter. Talks about JFK. Says President Lyndon Johnson has still not been credited with the great programs he shepherded through for this country. Compares Obama to Kennedy—young, beautiful wife, beautiful kids, no experience in congress, senate, no knowledge of how to work the system.

11/22/63 is about the Kennedy assassination. 1963. Ugly political climate in Dallas. Spitting. Made small errors writing his book. Spelled Killeen with only one “l”. Thought KLIF radio station was called K-Life instead of cliff. Began this evening with “testing, one, two, three”—Stephen King behind the curtains interrupting his introduction. Recognized his voice. From commercials. Books on tape. His movies. Had choice of watching him “for real” or watching Stephen King projected on screen behind himself. Did both. Talks about his being in movies. He was offered part in Sons of Anarchy. Says he’s giving up the walk-ons and his rock band.

Best part— my favorite writer looks happy and comfortable with himself. Second best part–we got to see him. Third best part—a signed Stephen King book!!!!!!!!!

THE NEIMAN-MARCUS PART. Haven’t been to flagship store since I was seventeen. Roxanne was even younger. They used to have fortnights where they showcased foreign countries. Remember France and China. Narrow escalators (yeah!). During the China fortnight a dragon was overhead. Present time: departments you can see from the bottom floor but can’t reach by main elevator (bizarre). Nicest sales clerks I have every met in my life. Really nice bathroom in shabby hallway. Furs. Haven’t seen furs in ages. Blundering into the wedding dress showroom. White, white, off-white, light blue. All off-shoulder except about two. Party dress showroom. Very well displayed. Little girl’s dresses.  So very beautiful. Makes you want to be a little girl again (or dress your granddaughter). Toys. Christmas ornaments. Food (most of it is via catalog now).

Epilogue—we got lost going home. Not the first time I have got lost driving out of Dallas, Texas. All part of the fun.

WHAT I READ THIS WEEK–Smokescreen by Dick Francis. If I Were You by L. Ron Hubbard. Real Murdersby Charlaine Harris.

Photos by Roxanne Rix. She did the driving. I was the navigator (along with Garmin).Visit http://rixcafetexican.com

This blog post was going to be about spam, but turns out I haven’t accumulated any outrageously good spam lately. For that, go to Avoidance of Doubt/The Passive Voice blog http://thepassivevoice.com . Ever so often he shows up a piece of spam masterwork you’d hate to miss. I’ll get back to my own spam problems later on.

I am close to the end of the publication process on my second e-book novel Arroyo. The cover is back from the cover artist and I love it! Can’t hardly wait to show it off. The manuscript is in the que for formatting to Amazon.com’s Kindle self-publishing program (now called independently published), Barnes & Noble’s Nook, and for everything else that is available through Smashwords. May be a week, may be a little longer. But the book is done. What I wanted to talk about is the product description, formerly known as the blurb.

First, of course, you have to have the great novel. And then you have to have a great cover. But if you don’t then have a really great product description or blurb you’ve screwed yourself. I’ve been working on the blurb off and on all week, and have even had some help with it from my sister and first beta reader Roxanne. I’ll save you some time. The Kindle production description is limited to 4,000 characters. My first draft of this is about 1,500 characters, but it’s going to be longer when I get done with it. I wish I could hire it out.

BOOKS I’VE READ THIS WEEK—Desert Places by Blake Crouch. Wickedly Charming by Kristine Grayson. When You Reach Meby Rebecca Stead. Snuff by Terry Pratchett.